Once upon a time,
a Prince asked a beautiful Prince, "Will you marry me?"
The Princess said NO...

And the Prince lived happily ever after... and rode motorcycles and fucked skinny big titted broads and hunted and raced cars and went to naked bars and never paid child support or alimony and ate pussies and ass fucked cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was fucking cool as hell and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up... The end.

Once upon a time,
a Prince asked a beautiful Prince, "Will you marry me?"
The Princess said NO...

And the Prince lived happily ever after... and rode motorcycles and fucked skinny big titted broads and hunted and raced cars and went to naked bars and never paid child support or alimony and ate pussies and ass fucked cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was fucking cool as hell and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up... The end.

Should I marry a lady who wants anal sex? .

Police officer pulls over a speeding car. The Officer says, " I clocked you at 80 mph. sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly, "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Dammit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut."

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says," Now dear you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE HELL UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

"Oh heavens no, officer. Only when he's been drinking."

ROFL, were getting some good ones.

ROFL, were getting some good ones.

My question is, what is with the guy not wanting to have anal sex with his fiance?... You Canadians must do it differently.

You Canadians must do it differently.

Missed the link, ok, and he posted that. What a poof.lol

From Wiki:

"In 1859, Canada repatriated its buggery law in the Consolidated Statutes of Canada as an offense punishable by death. Buggery remained punishable by death until 1869"

"Canadian law now permits anal sex by consenting parties above the age of 18, provided no more than two people are present."

Just between two Kanuks is okay. Nobody will kill them for that.

Ya see Dog, it's like this--- There's married sex and then there was unmarried sex...........

Ya see Dog, it's like this--- There's married sex and then there was unmarried sex...........

I know... I was married.

OHHHHHHHHH--that's right! So you know how important it is to have a bike ...especially if you are married. All the better if wifey rides too. Can'a think of anything a lot better than that.......except unmarried sex.

The Princess said NO...

Can'a think of anything a lot better than that.......except unmarried sex.

Rook sounds like it may be time to take the dirt road home rofl

* Last updated by: Romans on 2/22/2011 @ 6:45 PM *

IDK...there's unmarried sex and then there's unmarried sex after 40. The bikes start looking mighty good.

"Canadian law now permits anal sex by consenting parties above the age of 18, provided no more than two people are present."

Two's company, three's a crowd, four is too many and five is not allowed.

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove
a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says "maybe, but you will have to tell me the
exact words that were used to put the curse on you."

The old man says without hesitation
"I now pronounce you man and wife".

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the
bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts
her Lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there
already. The little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says, "Yes, it
is." Boy - "I have a baseball." Man - "That's nice." Boy - "Want to buy
it?" Man - "No, thanks." Boy - "My dad's outside." Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in
the closet together. Boy - "Dark in here." Man - "Yes, it is." Boy - "I
have a baseball glove." The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy,
"How much?" Boy - "$750" Man - "Sold."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go
outside and have a game of catch. The boy says, "I can't, I sold my
baseball and my glove." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy -"$1,000" The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends
like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take
you to church and make you confess." They go to the church and the father
makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Don't start that shit
again, you're in my closet now."

>Subject: FW: Scottish Baby
>
> A Scot was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his cell
> phone. He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces, his
> wife has just produced a typical Scottish baby boy weighing 25 pounds.
> Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the
> man just shrugs, "That's about average up our way, folks...like I said -
> my boy's a typical Highland baby boy.."
>
> Two weeks later the man returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say,
> you're the father of that typical Scottish baby that weighed 25 pounds
> at birth, aren't you? Everybody's been making' bets about how big he'd
> be in two weeks.....so how much does he weigh now?
>
> The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds".
>
> The bartender is puzzled and concerned. "What happened"? "He was 25
> pounds the day he was born."
>
> The father takes a slow swig from his Johnny Walker Whisky, wipes his
> lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says,
> "Had him circumcised".
>
> God Bless The Scots!!!

WHY NEWFIES CAN'T BE PARAMEDICS

Jim and Bud are out in the woods hunting when suddenly
Bud grabs his chest and falls to the ground.
He doesn't seem to be breathing ; his eyes are rolled back in his head.
Jim whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

He gasps to the operator, "By t'undering Jesus, I tink Bud is dead! What should I do?"

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says,
"Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence...... and then a gun shot is heard.

Jim comes back on the line : "Okay, now what?"

Q: What do you call the sweat between two people from Arkansas having sex?

A: Relative humidity!

A guy goes into the post office to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."

"Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?"

"Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for one tour."

The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment."

Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my
testicles."

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay. You've got enough points for
me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm. You
can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 am every day."

The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM,
why don't you want me here until 10:00 am?"

"This is a government job", the interviewer says. "For the first two hours,
we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in
you coming in for that."

lol

Retirement Planning

If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

If you had purchased $1,000 of Delta Air Lines stock, you would have $49.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of wine one year ago, drunk all the
wine, then turned in the bottles for the recycling REFUND, you would have had $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

Let people you care about know...
and tell them to start now!!!

Farm Boy Problem
The little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores.

"Not yet," said the little boy.

His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.

Well, he's a little pissed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.

"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren't getting any milk."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.

The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "You gonna tell him or should I?"

First Prize

OH cun lath er dat one an ol de over 1's too he he ha lol ha

Ya thats it lol

A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He
stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely
drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so
he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way
up the stairs, he falls over backwards and lands flat on his rear
end.
That wouldn't have been so bad, except that he had couple of empty
pint bottles in his back pockets, and they broke, and the broken
glass carved up his buttocks terribly. But, he was so drunk that he
didn't know he was hurt. A few minutes later, as he was undressing,
he noticed blood, so he checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure
enough, his behind was cut up something terrible. Well, he repaired
the damage as best he could under the circumstances, and he went to
bed.
The next morning, his head was hurting, and his rear was hurting,
and he was hunkering under the covers trying to think up some good
story, when his wife came into the bedroom.
"Well, you really tied one on last night," she said. "Where'd you
go?"
"I worked late," he said, "and I stopped off for a couple of beers."
"A couple of beers? That's a laugh," she replied. "You got plastered
last night. Where the heck did you go?"
"What makes you so sure I got drunk last night, anyway?"
"Well," she replied, "my first big clue was when I got up this
morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the mirror."